If I want you guys to understand something from this post is do not get attached to people/things. It’s good, it’s actually great to have community. It’s great to have relationships, but when you replace God with them that’s a problem. You’ll find that if your foundation and life isn’t centered with God, problems will arise. You can’t put your mental, physical, emotional dependency on the people around you. I say this because people are human. Human beings fail because they are not perfect. So if you depend on them when they fail you, they are going to disappoint you greatly. Sometimes we put them on a pedestal and it’s bad because we are expecting them to be able to fulfill something they can’t ever fulfill. They aren’t God, God is almighty, omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, loving, whole, and I can continue. He’s everything that man can’t ever completely be. It’s crazy because I’ve heard people say if there is two people and they are in a relationship. If one of them isn’t healed, they can heal it in the relationship together. I’m sorry but I don’t completely agree with that. There are certain things God wants you to heal before you get into certain things because if not you will ruin it. If you are in God he is going to teach you to solely depend on him. He wants to be your everything first. He wants you to be one with him before he allows you to bring someone else In oneness with him. What happens when your partner leaves you? Because many people aren’t firm with God when their love one leaves them, sadly some people kill themselves or think about doing that. Some people enter into a depressive state. Some people even depart or stop believing in God. To be honest it’s not even just if your partner leaves you, God even says in his word even if your parents leave you I will never leave you. He knows that we live in a sinful world which means people will leave us. People are going to do things you never thought they would because unfortunately we live in a sinful world and sin does ugly things. For example when people leave the church/God because the people in church hurt them. That is completely wrong, that means you weren’t really there for God. Your faith was based on the people that were there. God isn’t to blame for what man did. God said mankind is sinful, that we only needed him to fully depend on. Their faith was really attached to the faith of others. They didn’t really know or have a true encounter with God. They didn’t allow God to truly be the center of their lives. They weren’t really standing on the rock which is Jesus, ( a firm foundation). Rather they were standing on a shaky rock which was mankind. When my dad left me I had a lot of unsolved traumas. One of them was approval, i always felt like I needed to prove myself to people because I felt like my dad never wanted me, it ended up hurting me. I would depend on how people felt about me. If people thought I was ugly, I would believe that. I always needed people to validate me. Whether they liked how I look, what I wore or even how I spoke. I would beg people and have no self-respect for myself. In a way I would kind of beg people to stay in my life because I didn’t want them to leave. Since my father left I thought everyone would leave me. It’s crazy because I’ve always analyzed it, some people when experiencing a father leaving them, they completely close themselves off. What I did instead was get too close to people and kind of scare them away. I would be too needy and overwhelming. It wasn’t until God came into my life that I realized he’s all that I need. It’s nice to have people in your life, but when it really comes down to it God is the only one who won’t ever leave. And that’s not a bad thing, it’s the truth. That’s why I’ve learned to depend only on him, in my identity, and life. When you are a child of God, God will allow things to happen so that you realize he’s all you need. Only he can do all things, he is enough. He wants you to depend on him and be attached to him. There would be times where I would always apologize for things that I didn’t do. I would always think I was a problem because my dad left me. He never gave me explanations to why he didn’t want to be in my life, so it always made me feel like I was a problem. Like I did something to deserve his treatment or rejection. You see if I didn’t learn to be one with God, this exact unhealed trauma would affect my relationships. To be honest for a while it did ruin a lot of my relationships. It didn’t only affect my romantic relationships but friendship relationships as well. I would get so close to my bestfriends and depend on them. I would depend on them for everything and I would unconsciously let them take Gods place. They would be the one I would want to get close to. When I had a problem I would go directly to them without first going to God. I would want to spend all my time with them, leaving my intimacy with God to wither. I wanted my friends to fill the voids I was missing, but they could neverrrr. That’s why i never completely felt whole and I would be sad after being with them. Its kind of like an addiction you enjoy it because it takes the pain away for a while, but after you are still left with the feeling you started with, never really healed. The truth is that the answer wasn’t found in them but in God. Jesus is the truth, the way and the life. That’s why people live their life always trying to attain the answer. Until they realize the answer is only found in Jesus Christ, that is the only way they are and can truly be made whole. God is a jealous God, he wants to be connected with his creation. You are his loved one, whom he longs to grow his relationship with everyday. If I’m focused on getting closer to my friend everyday and not giving room to God, how is our relationship going to grow. An idol is someone or something we worship as if it/they were God. When we worship something other than God we obviously won’t say “you are my God I worship you”. But wanting to always be around someone, always thanking them, allowing your whole life to be about this person/thing is worship. You have to come to the point of your life where you understand that if all you have is God, that is enough. I thank God for helping me heal from that trauma. I remember one of the women God put in my life to bless me, she said you need to heal from this trauma. If you don’t heal from this trauma of always feeling like you are to blame, you are going to ruin your future marriage. Imagine your husband is having a bad day and you tell him “did I do something wrong to you, I’m sorry?” When in reality I did nothing maybe he just had a bad day. I had to heal with God and understand that I am not the problem to everything that happens. Guys I was so bad that I would ask people consistently, “are you okay? Did I do something? I’m so sorry if I did something to you.” Mind you I didn’t do anything to them, but I thought that I did something to them. I just saw them randomly, i didn’t talk to them beforehand. I saw them sad or angry and I thought I was to blame. What traumas do to you man… but thats a talk for another day!!! Can’t wait to share that with you guys. Guys I really pray you understand that it’s important to be whole with the Father before you do anything in your life. You are truly complete once you are whole with the Father. Attach yourself to the fountain that never stops, God.